I love

my baby's hair

when he's sleeping

 and the humidity of his 

warmth makes

beautiful curls more beautiful. 

Forget Kama Sutra...

Is there a manual on diaper-changing positions?

My suggested entries:

1. Traditional with Table

Baby lies flat on back in transverse position on changing table, head by mother's left arm and feet by mother's right arm; left hand holds both ankles in the air while right hand holds baby wipe.

2. Left-Hand Traditional with Table

Reversed from above position

3. Traditional on Floor (incl. Left-Hand Variation)

Baby lies flat on back in transverse position on floor, head by mother's left knee and feet by mother's right knee as she kneels over baby, holding both ankles in left hand as right hands holds baby wipe.

4. The Backseat Swap

Baby lies flat on back in whatever space is available (backseat of car, a friend's couch, high school hallway, etc); Mother places opened diaper underneath existing diaper. As soiled diaper is removed, clean diaper is simultaneously cinched as to avoid mess.

5. Diversionary Object

Prior to diaper change, mother locates safe diversionary object to induce lull in movement. Mother acts quickly to change diaper while novelty is sustained.  

6. The Waterskier

Baby lies flat on back on floor in Post position (feet pointing toward mother, and head pointing away) with mother sitting on bottom, both feet pinning corresponding biceps of baby so as to prevent rolling. Both mother's arms are free to change diaper.

7. 3AM Patch-up

Overly sleepy mother detects mega-overloaded diaper after nightly feeding. Working by feel, mother softly slides new diaper under baby, removes old diaper, and attaches tabs just enough to keep diaper on and baby dreaming.

 8. London Bridge

Baby lies on back in transverse position on floor. Mother sits on floor with left leg bent over baby, so as to make a "bridge" across baby's chest. Leg can be lowered as needed to prevent rolling and/or wiener-grabbing.

*This position enhanced by Diversionary Object 

9. The Big Boy

Mother holds clean naked baby upright in standing position, placing clean diaper across back of baby and holding baby against chest while bringing up front of diaper between baby's legs and across pubic area. Tabs are initially secured and then tightened in Traditional Position as needed. 

*This position best assists positions 6, 8, and 10.  

10. The Poultry Hold

*Imagine one attempting to hold a flapping chicken by one leg*

Mother goes in "cold turkey" (huh-huh-huh, pun intended) by grabbing squirming baby by one leg once potentially disastrous diaper is loose. Mother does not allow child's pelvis to touch ground despite determined twists, yanks, and yells. Mother wipes down pelvis area en plein vol after which she allows baby to temporarily crawl away in retaliation before progressing to position number 9.

  

The last couple of days I have had to resort to numbers 9 and 10, which are very advanced, I'd say. Stressful, though. I can only imagine what the future will bring...




Oh. And by the way. I won King Diaper today. So I bought myself a $4 candy bar.

fun game

Yesterday I played a fun game with Jahno where I snuck around the big chair in our living room to scare him. He would wait in anticipation for me to come get him but when I was no where to be found he would slowly crawl toward me as I hid from him. Then I would surprise him and "get" him (with kisses, tickles, bites, etc.). It was great when he would be expecting me to come around one corner and I'd fake him out and appear around the opposite direction. So stinkin' fun!  

I know...

Church was excellent today.

I heard great testimonies for Fast and Testimony meeting. 

Gabe shared his testimony and I felt like everything in life is good. 

I really felt at peace and grateful for what I know to be true.

I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ's true church restored again to the earth today. We have a prophet today who leads us and guides us named Thomas S. Monson. We also have local leaders as well who I know are called of God to do a service for Him by serving us in their individual responsibilities.

I know that the Book of Mormon is a true book given to us through the power of God in order to draw closer to Him and better understand the role of Jesus Christ in our lives. Because I have read and prayed about this book on multiple occasions (and continue to both read and pray about it) and know that it is true, I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God called to restore Christ's church.

I cannot imagine my life without the restored gospel of Jesus Christ because it has given me everything I consider good in my life. I am very grateful that I have the privilege of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

http://mormon.org/

So as Jahno lapped up a delicious bit of yarn this afternoon, 

I came up with a great idea.

Have you ever heard of a "king cake" at Christmas parties where a little trinket is hidden somewhere in the cake and whoever finds it in their piece of cake gets rewarded? 

In case you're drawing a blank, go here to know what I'm talking about.

So I'm attempting to scratch this little morsel off Jahno's tongue but give up because I'm pretty sure he already swallowed it. 

Oh, well, I think. It will just come out in his diaper eventually.

Then I think: Yes. Yes it will come out into his diaper eventually. 

Why didn't I think of this before, like for example when he gnawed off a couple bits of Gabe's belt and it made a grand exit the next day?

So now I have the solution to every young wife's issues of an AWOL husband when it comes to diaper changing.

King Diaper!

The parent who finds the undigestible trinket gets privileges!

Privileges!